How should I proceed now? Is there hope?

[NotCrackingUp]

Thanks Pinhead,
I knew there was a colourful side to it. All those seventies soul songs and disco songs where fellas in tight nylon suits moaned about their "self esteem" I just wasn't buying it.

I hope things are not too hard for you now. I envy you your spouse's presence and willingness to try on on your M, but I can identify with your refusal to accept a life of crumbs with someone who doesn't desire you.Just maybe she doesn't know her own feelings, especially complicated by the debt, health and fertility issues you've had to battle with as a couple.

Maybe if she manages to stop living in the future (worrying about money) or in the past (resenting things that are over and can't change now) she'll be able to realize she loves you, really. I know that whatever he has said, my H has made snap decisions based on worries about the future and old accounts from the past he can't let go. I've seen him do that before in other domains and regret after.

Hurtinhartford, how are you? I'm detaching, allright, but I still get bouts of loneliness and sadness. It has just hurt so much, and I've been feeling so lonely and bloody frustrated that it was either detach or become a hysterical wreck. That would be a luxury neither my own kids or the swathe of deprived youth I try to teach at school could really afford.

I try not to look too far ahead, try not feel too old and over the hill (as my H felt about me - he's a mere 42). And if someone else shows interest, I might well give in to the temptation to go out and live my own life a bit. What's sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander. Daydreaming is doing me no harm, anyway.

I must pass the driving test, though. Then, the world will be my oyster.

My H is quite detached and most unforthcoming, though a lot nicer than this Summer. Can't tell what he's up to, what he feels. I'm afraid if this goes on for long, we'll never be able to mend the rift.But, one day at a time.

How're things in your life? Did you have a good holiday? Have you heard more from your W?
NCU