Thanks. I need this. All my friends and family tell me "W is really screwed up", "You need to be where your support system is" . . . Blah blah blah. I know they mean well, and just want the pain to stop. They are biased, but THEY are here for me now, and W isn't.
The 30 days thing is W'd idea. She says "I know something will chage, it has to." But I really don't expect it to. If nothing happens, moving to her city feels like the ultimate in pursuing.
Maybe that is good. It is against all the rules here, but she did tell me a few days ago "The most surprising thing in all of this is how much work you are putting in to save this marraiage". For years she told me (if only, I'd listened) "I think if we split up you'll replace me in a couple of months". At least she has started to see how much she means to me.
I realized the other day that if I were living in the same city/state as my W, I wouldn't feel the sense of urgency I do. She gives me tons of signs that she is still connected. The counselor does too.
Right now I'm really looking for jobs in Denver, my W's city. If I can find one while I'm still abroad, I wouldn't have to move in with her for a few weeks, just to move out again. That would make things easier.
Thanks again. Your tone is very helpful, calm, cool collected, but firm. That's what I'm trying to be.
M:37 W:34 M:4 years T:6 years No Kids A disclosed - 9/1/2010 W asks for separation - 10/19/2010 Moving on - 10/24/2010 A ends (and I believe her) - 12/2010 Content - 3/1/2011 Served - 3/18/2011 D Day - 6/20/2011
