She is having an affair, Prooney. Whether it is physical or not it does not matter. If it's not physical, we call those 'round these parts an Emotional Affair (EA). Often times, an EA can have more impact on a WAW than a physical one.

She is confiding everything in this guy. Believe it. She feels detached from you because she is attached to him.

There is no way you can save this M when there is an OM involved. You need to cut off all contact with her excluding stuff about the kids. No contact.

State that you will not live in an open marriage regardless if this is "friendship" or not. You won't stand for it.

----"Et tu, Brute?"----
me:28 W:24 S4
T:6
M:4
EA Exposed: 5/21/10
Bomb: 6/20/10 (Father's Day)
NC w/ OM: 7/10/10
W moved out 8/21/10
http://bit.ly/aOrZne - My sitch