It has been almost 3 weeks since I let my H get his foot back in the door. He had previously planned trips out of town for the last 2 weekends...this weekend will be our first opportunity to spend a little more time together although the only plans we have together are for tonight. At times, we both have busy schedules and I understand that. Right now though, I am feeling like we are just headed down the same road where as long as I am patient, understanding and accepting of everything on my H's terms, we get along fine until I push for more...I just can't have a repeat of what has happened before. My H claims it is different and I do see that some things are different but I'm feeling like I need more than this to feel comfortable.
Here is what has changed... -He has been making a little more effort to spend time with me (however he has been busy so that time has been somewhat limited). -He is more consistant with his follow through. When he says he is going to do something, he ususally does. -He seems more certain when he tells me that he wants to work this out and eventually move back. -He tells me he wants to pursue me. -I feel like he is trying to connect with me more on an emotional level but it is hard to know for sure. -I have changed. I am no longer as emotionally invested in this as I once was. The patience and tolerance I need to get through this has pretty much evaporated. I am giving my H this opportunity to see if we can work this out but at this point, I'm not sure how much I really care one way or the other.
Here is what has not changed... -Right now, I feel like I am back to accepting things on his terms again...meaning we talk or see each other when it fits into his schedule. I was feeling more like a priority and I am not so sure right now. -We are going down the same path just waiting to see if he can get over (even around or under) the wall instead of hitting it.
We will be divorced in a little over 2 months if things don't change more. Maybe I just need to let my H know how I am feeling...maybe I need to see how the weekend goes.
I know this may sound petty when so many here would love to have a positive connection with their spouse but I have had this carrot dangled toooooo many times before. I need more action and I need more follow through!
