Your esteem should NEVER be tied to someone other than your..."self".
Detachment IMO, does not just "happen". It is a slow process that has it's ups and downs. IF you believe that you will wake up one day and all of a sudden feel detached, then you are setting yourself up for failure.
No I do not believe that detachment happens overnight. I know it is slow process. And I will have good and bad days. You are right, my esteem should not be tied to a person. That is CODEPENDENT behavior...lol. I have been working on this for SOME time.
I wrote:
Quote:
I look at detachment as removing myself from being involved from the chaos of a person or a situation. I don't get tangled up in reacting to things person says or does. I don't dwell on it. I remove myself from their responsibilities. I do not try to control the person or situation.
I know I have no control over the person or situation. It is about action, implmenting detachment. the how. I was doing well. My D25 even said I had detached. Then I slip. AHHH!
Lol, I re-read my own words this morning and it was a kick in my backside... I did react, I did allow myself to be entangled, and I do dwell on him and sitch. Lol, kicked by my own words. Dang!
Quote:
The key is not to remain in that grieving process beyond what is really necessary. Staying too long will keep you "stuck", will not allow you to "grow" and will NOT help your self esteem.
Hmm, maybe this is what is happening. If so how do I move forward to get unstuck?
Thanks for responding
M\51- H\53 crisis-08 M-30 years 2-D's 25\22 ILYBINILWY - Feb 09 BD - Mar 09 Sep- May 09 NC -Jan 10 H fl'd papers Aug-10
