He feel betrayed and now has to explain HIS actions. Personally, as a rule of thumb you should try NOT to vent to people that are close or related to either of you. I have done this WAY too often and can now see the damage that it does. You need to vent…come here and vent.
YOU were looking for a sympathetic ear – you got one. Was the sympathy you received worth it?
You can’t change the past BUT you can change the future. Learn from this.
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I have forgiven him for so many things in the past,
So did you forgiven from your heart…OR did you forgive and NOW EXPECT the same? Isn’t that an EXPECTATION? As has been posted to you..your keeping score. Don’t.
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it bothers me that he is being so hard on me for really something he did.
Guilt and projection…..he feels guilty that he was caught. Rather than own it – he is going to blame you. It is much easier that way, at least for HIM. So how does the new Kissak deal with it? That really is the question that YOU need to answer for YOU.
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He did say he accepted my apology....but it didnt make him feel better.
Forgiveness is the gift that keeps on giving IMO…personally, forgiveness is something that we do EVERY time we are reminded of the sitch. As for HIM feeling better….think about YOURSELF for a sec here. Have you ever done anything that you were guilty of? How long did it take for YOU to feel better?
Bottom line YOU want HIM to feel better so that YOU can feel better.
I am not trying to make you feel any worse as a matter of fact, my advice would be to just let it go. Let this whole sitch go.
Now you know who you can speak to – learn from it, dust yourself off and keep steppin…
God Bless, Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
Sorry, I wasnt trying to be sarcastic if thats what u meant.
I get it now, I dont want to harbor resentment or bitterness.
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
And your right...I do want HIM to feel better so I Can feel better.
I hear everything you are saying and taking it all in.
Honestly the expectation of him forgiving me because I forgave him didnt come to me until this morning after I had thought about it for a while....I guess that was just to make me feel better about it. It wasnt something that I had expected, just something that I thought about later.
Gonna try to get up, dust myself off and learn from it!
Thanks for your input guys!
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
Gonna try to get up, dust myself off and learn from it!
That's all you can do Kissak...
One day at a time...
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
Im trying not to react to him today. He got paid today...he puts half of his money into my account to pay bills and some goes into his to pay bills. Well, he keeps "telling" me that He needs this money to pay his bill...not thinking about the regular utility bills. He even told me that I better not go and spend any of it cuz he needed to fix his truck.
I dont spend his money. I pay bills with it. I make my own money to spend. But I didnt say anything. I will just give him the money he needs. I help him with half of a paper route and he hasnt offered to give me any for it so I can pay my truck payment this month...he is more worried about his bills. When I say his bills I mean all the credit cards he ran up over the last 4 years he has been back and forth and HIS truck payment.
Thankfully the Lord provided me with enough money at work to pay my truck payment and OUR light bill. I havent even told him that I have paid them on my own this month.
Trying NOT to react. Not much I can do anyway.
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
Would you like my bank routing number? Just kidding I couldn’t help myself
Ya know finances are a funny thing with MLCers..Some can spend like a drunken sailor some not so. At the end of the day the best thing to do is keep the peace.
I would suggest figuring out a budget and then showing him where the money is going. Just be honest with him.
Squabbles over money will do nothing but just create tension and In most cases it is not worth the fight.
God Bless, Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
Your right Eric. THere is lots of tension with that today. I told him how much was left after I paid a few bills. I have done that before...he still doesnt get it. I hate the money issue with him. I cant explain it enough...so I quit explaining it all together.
UGH! tired of his selfish butt today~~~~~~ok, just vented there
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
My H pretty much took out his frustrations over money on me Friday night. I stood there, explaining when I could. I did validate that I understood why "he" felt that way. But I felt as if I was being persacuted (sp) I told him that after about 30 minutes of listening to him go off on my about the bills and me not paying half! He told me that he kinda was persacuting me!! Ok, I pay what I can. I own my own business and June-Sept are slow for me...so its hard to keep up, but I did pay my own truck payment this month and the light bill, plus I buy all the groceries and have some left over for entertainment. Yet, thats not enough.
I think my H would be happy if I agreed with everything he said. AND I CANT do that because I dont agree.
I have faith God will take care of our needs....my H doesnt think that way, so he gets stressed out very easily.
I see my glass half full, he sees it half empty. We are 2 very different people when it comes to stuff like this.
So, now I am looking into finding another part time job. Doing what I have no clue.
I did take my kids and go out friday night while he was "out". He did say he was sorry by text after I left. Said he just couldnt hold it back...said he didnt think I truly understood because he didnt either.
Saturday I went to the festival with my daughter and a friend of mine and her kids...we had a great time. H stayed home with my son.
I must say I get confused by my H's words/actions....he talks about the future some, about things around the house, like he is staying, but his actions show me that he doesnt want to be there, that he really doesnt even like me.
I know, actions speak louder than words.
Last edited by kissak; 10/11/1001:54 PM.
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
