I'll get to see my girls every schoolday. I'll be coming over to the house when W has left; get them fed and dressed and then drive them to school. So that's about 2-3 hours with them every day. And W works Sunday 2-10, so I'll watch them at the house then. I'll have them every other Saturday too.
Once I get some furniture in the new place, I'll have them some nights too.
"Real love" and "love you as a man". We all want to be loved. And your wife does love you. And you said you do love her. What you are missing is passion. Spark, admiration, intimacy, sexual intimacy, excitement. And if you both felt all these now, in the MIDDLE of this crisis, (that didnt just occur overnight), you would be...weird to say the least.
Somehow your wife's words triggered so much hurt and pride. Good thing in a way, IMO. Because it gives you the edge to be somemone a woman would admire.
Keep your head up Pin. I think you did the right thing. Right now she is worried about money? Not very soul searching is it? I think she will change a lot more in a short time. Get out there and live your life.
Me 35 Wife 34 Two daughters 8 years and 3 years Bomb 3/30/09 W filed 4/16/09 We met in'92 married in 2000 Divorce final
Agreed, thats why you need to keep an opened mind. Once you're out and living a happy life w/o her, she may have a change of heart. Give this part of the process time too.
Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
Said that for thirteen years, I had been promising that we were this close to being financially safe
This is a huge need for women. To all the men reading you would be wise to understand it.
Pin do you see how you having cancer fed her fear of this need not being met?
You need to go back and validate her feelings on this. She doesn't know how to validate, lead and teach her.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Actually Coach, she'd have been better off if I had died from my cancer. Ironically, a few weeks before I was diagnosed, I had bought a life insurance policy that would have made her pretty rich.
But you're right. I didn't validate at all, just told her that "we" would be okay financially.
"Real love" and "love you as a man". We all want to be loved. And your wife does love you. And you said you do love her. What you are missing is passion. Spark, admiration, intimacy, sexual intimacy, excitement. And if you both felt all these now, in the MIDDLE of this crisis, (that didnt just occur overnight), you would be...weird to say the least.
Somehow your wife's words triggered so much hurt and pride. Good thing in a way, IMO. Because it gives you the edge to be somemone a woman would admire.
Be careful where you lead your thoughts now. K
I don't think the words hurt me so much as really made me realize how she felt. Peeled away all the denial and wishful thinking on my part.
Actually Coach, she'd have been better off if I had died from my cancer. Ironically, a few weeks before I was diagnosed, I had bought a life insurance policy that would have made her pretty rich.
Not the same thing as financial security. Feeling safe financially is a emotional need, understanding cash flow is thinking thru the situation. It made you feel better about the outcome if it got worse but not her, she needs more than a pile of cash. Detach and put yourself in her shoes.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
