Doodi, I've been following on and off. Sounds to me you dont know what to do with "the control" you have.
I get stressed when I read your posts. The way you feel and they way he feels/acts, things cant work out with you prolonging the misery.
You cant have the cake and eat it too my dear. You cant stay in your home, NOT hurt your kids because you cant stand the thought, detach yourself completely, control everything about the R AND complain your H doenst respond in a way that it would make it easier for you to decide whether you can leave him or not. Sorry, to me, it sounds....selfish.
I dont care how nicely you put it, how many half hearted attempts you have made, how justified you are to feel this way (which I dont doubt), how you treat him now, has to do with ...humanity (is this how you say it?). Years of "abuse" from his part, do not entitle you to cruelty.
You take advantage that he doesnt have the nerve to tell you to go and allow yourself to be stagnate in a sitch that you desrcibe as torture... Do what you want to do. I suggest you take some risks, better to make that choice before you find yourself not able to avoid anymore. I suggest you stop using the martyr card to yourself. You are strong, you can do as you want. No excuses. This isnt about your H anymore. You are the one controlling things now. This is about you. What's YOUR progress the last 5 months? K
