Woke up this morning to a text from H that he sent at 1 a.m. - it said "I hate my life. This all *^&%$ sucks"
I replied with "I'm sorry". He called me as I was on my way into work, he was in tears and said "I don't think I'm going to make it hun, I really don't think I'm going to make it" I said "you don't have a choice, you have to make it" and he said "there's always a choice" I said "I know you don't see it right now, but you have so many reasons to make it - our kids need their dad" He said "I'd rather them remember me as I am now than see me as what I am afraid I'm going to become" I said "What are you afraid you are going to become?" He said "Nothing but a bum and a loser" He was in tears the whole time. I asked him what the Dr. said about that stuff, about the fact that he feels like he can't do anything right and that everything he does goes wrong and fails...he said the Dr. said that with my H's history he can understand why he feels that way. He told me he was sorry for everything and that he had to get off the phone b/c a client was coming in shortly. He thanked me for listening to him. I said "you're welcome".
I hate seeing my H in so much pain. Regardless of what has happened and what he has done, it hurts to see/hear the awful pain that it appears he is feeling. I know I can't but I wish I could I fix everything for him. I am really really worried about his mental state.
