While I agree that you are not quite ready to hear a lot of what has been said to you yet...
I went back over your threads. You registered here in February and did not start posting until April. At that point in time, your bomb was seven months fresh and you had tried the "medical" approach to dealing with it.
You came to the MLC forum in August and it is now the very beginning of October. So in total, a year from your bomb, but only a few months of really looking at this differently.
I see posters here, pushing you, to where you are not ready to be yet. I see lots of people talking the talk.
I have had to go back, in my memory, to where you are, just beginning this journey. You have read some books, you have a basic understanding of MLC. That is wonderful.
Get more. Really get to know the MLC monster. Not through a text book, but through personal experiences. Other people's pain and situations. It will be through that, that you can really understand what your W is going through.
Why do this, when the only person you can control is you?
Because the better you know what it is you are dealing with, what it is that you see and hear coming from your W, the better able you are to make decisions on how to handle it, that will serve you and whatever your ultimate goal is.
Right now, it is saving your M. That could change over time but it may not.
This is how to start this process. Until you understand WHAT you are dealing with, it is difficult to detatch and change the focus.
We oldtimers, and newer posters who are further along than you but not as far as they will hopefully grow to, have been remis, IMO, over the last year. We let Cadet put up the link to the resources, and we have stopped talking about what is in those resources.
You will find information that will blow your mind away. Some will make you laugh and some will make you cry. But if you really pay attention, you will learn. You will come to understand that a call to come fix the computer, is a call to come fix the computer but it is more than that. You will learn that while you want her to know how you feel, it just isn't the time for that and why.
You will learn from other people mistakes and truimphs. And then you will begin to have your own. And then you will begin to grow.
Is any of this a guarantee to saving your M?
Unfortunately it is not.
Bobby, you can do this...
Do what I suggest and answer Mach's questions from earlier in this thread...
It will begin to help...
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
