Hey there is nothing you can do about it if he gives up, you can not control him. I don't think he will but in the same breath you are not home free and clear. There will be more pain before he is done. Try to stay clear of his drama. Let him come to you, let him set the pace.
Thank you Lance. I have been spiraling over the last few days. I had an appointment with my IC on Saturday and I came to a huge realization......I feel like I am invisible to those who are "suppose" to love and care for me.
I think about my situation more now than ever and the picture is bleak. I want to give up because I am not very good with patience....a virtue that is sometimes amiss with me. The circling of my H's MLC is sometimes too much to bear. I try to understand his pain, his hurt, his confusion, his despair and then I feel guilty about NOT having patience. His blackhole runs deep and right now he is not ready to completely face his own reality. Right now, he is "peeking" through the window of his life which may or may not include me. THe thought of not being with my H is very devasting to me. Not because I can't make it without him, but I know I WANT to be with him. He is a good person; even through this crazy rollercoaster we have been riding.
I pray to God for my soul, salvation, and renewal. But I do feel invisible because those closest to me have considered me strong, carefree, and dependable. They believe I am not supposed to cry or breakdown because I am hurt or in pain. As such, I am ignored because I guess I am not suppose to feel.
I feel more than my family or H could ever imagine and I have felt like why am I here. I don't know....
Thanks for listening.
OLD THREAD-http://tinyurl.com/y98nuty Me 44 H 51 T 15 yrs M 9+ yrs No Kids "You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment unless you trust enough."
Patience is something that you are meant to learn. You will need to learn it no matter what happens with you and your husband. So lets figure out how you can learn how to have "patience"
Thank you Lance. You always know what to say. I went to work today after spending much of the weekend, Monday and Tuesday on my couch. Patience is the one virtue that continues to go amiss with me, but I am learning - slowly albeit.
I have decided to avoid emails or skype conversations with my H for a while. I did notice however, that he has sent 4 messages over the last 2 days. I have not opened them. I had a pretty good day at work - busy season for us.
I probably should begin to GAL again and get back into my zumba and pilates classes. Going to be a long weekend.
Have a good night.
OLD THREAD-http://tinyurl.com/y98nuty Me 44 H 51 T 15 yrs M 9+ yrs No Kids "You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment unless you trust enough."
I probably should begin to GAL again and get back into my zumba and pilates classes. Going to be a long weekend.
Good idea. Take care of yourself, sweetie, you've already beaten this beast once, and you did it by yourself ... FOR yourself. Deep breath now ... you got this ...
Peace PEI
Holding onto anger to punish someone else, is like lighting yourself on fire to get smoke in their eyes ~ 25yearsmlc
Get out there and get to gettin'. I know far too much about curling up under a blanket and trying to sleep away the pain. I just went to my first exercise class tonight. All we really did was learn stretching, but I feel it already. Friday night, another football game. Keeping busy is keeping me sane. It will for you, too.
Lance, Pei, Punkin, and Mila - Thank you for your words of support. I am in my 11th month of this ride and it was once again taking its toll on me. My H has sent me a few messages over the last few days but I have decided not to even read them as I need time away from his MLC at this point. Last weekend was the worst in months that I had. I have several errands to run this weekend, so the fun stuff may have to wait until next weekend. Have a good day everyone!
OLD THREAD-http://tinyurl.com/y98nuty Me 44 H 51 T 15 yrs M 9+ yrs No Kids "You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment unless you trust enough."
My H has sent me a few messages over the last few days but I have decided not to even read them as I need time away from his MLC at this point.
Atta girl! You have a great day too! Find time for something for you ... no matter how small ... a bubble bath ... a decadent hot chocolate .... something for you
Peace PEI
Holding onto anger to punish someone else, is like lighting yourself on fire to get smoke in their eyes ~ 25yearsmlc
I wish I had the backbone to do that. Even when I pretend not to read them and return them to sender, I still sneak a peak. Curiosity killed the cat. I think it was very strong of you to skip the possible drama in the messages.
