So 12 hour work day. Not so bad - something productive to do. I've established a new name for my current state of being: functional devastation. I make it up everyday and get my son up and ready for school - get myself to work and try to maintain professionalism. I leave work and try to maintain structure for my son. I am trying to maintain dignity - although I think I fail miserably sometimes. I spend too much time worrying about what H thinks about me - what he doesn't think of me. If he compares me to the new woman. I feel waves of nausea still when I think of him with someone else. But I am also beginning to feel waves of anger. Not sure what I will do with it - but try to become a better, stronger woman.
Maybe someday I will feel waves of happiness!
M-48/XH-48 M=25/T=28 years Ds-24,22/S-18 D - 3/11 A Day at a Time
