So for people who are dealing with an A, would you say it is best that they not consider attending Retrouvaille until the A is firmly and definitely over (and they need help learning to communicate in order to help with R)?
You know, Peachy (love that name by the way), that's hard to say. Because the heart or head is such a strange thing. Do we ever really know when it is firmly and definitely over? In my case, we went when he "said" it was over, but I think he was still keeping her as Plan B if things didn't work out. And letters I found between them confirmed that she was willing to wait and see if he reconciled with me or if they would start up again. So I can't say it was firmly and definitely over. But once we went to Retrouvaille and we saw that we could actually love each other again, and we could make our family a nice place to live for all the people involved, then he really did finally break it off with her.
So I think, when both people are willing to go and do it with an open mind and a willing heart, then that is the time to go.
