Wife is cheating, am sad but confused?

[HopelessInLove]

I don't know I am about at the end of my rope. I have a meeting with a L next week. I have heard her on tape completely bashing my family especially my mom. My parents try to help. My mom watches our children part of the week so we don't have to pay a babysitter for a full week. Yes my parents try to run our lives, but I have always tried t keep them at arms leg. My father even said that to me this past week. W problems are so deep with me and my family that I don't know if I want to keep going around with W on every little problem. It is as if all small problems with kids or parents or me become huge hurdles for her. I want the kids away from all her drama. I see my oldest becoming extremely bossy and yelling a lot.

My gut has been twisting so much. Every conversation that I am hearing (on tape) I hear W completely taking what I said out of context and manipulating it to suit her thoughts and for her friends (once my friends) to take her side.

I have been contemplated giving W the ultimatum, me and the kids or him. I want the house and the kids (and her), I think it will just nail my coffin shut though with us.

In one of the conversations I over heard W say to OM that W loves hanging out with me, and that we could still be friends, but she does not want me to touch her or sleep in the same bed. That she said it to me well before W and OM started "hanging out." W stated she needs affection, exactly what I said was missing and was willing to give but she would continuously shun me.

R2C- We red 5 LL several years ago (maybe 6) when I felt the relationship was having problems. I read the entire book, she only read parts and basically disregarded the concepts. I think my wife puts effort into everyother aspect of her life but when it comes to us it has been a low priority.