Still, you should open your mind and give it a try. Your kids deserve it. A lifetime marriage is not an easy achievement. It doesn't just come naturally. That's why so many of us are here. You have to find the love over and over again. It's not the same spark that glows year in and year out. Maybe it even needs to take a rest sometimes so it can light again. Marriages can be saved. Marriages that were declared dead by the spouses. I know, because it happened to me. I'm glad we walked in the door of Retrouvaille. Because in less than 48 hours, that dead ember had more than started flickering again. You don't know until you try!
Mr. Pinhead, you have been around here a long time. And I've read a lot of what you write. By and large, you've got a good head on your shoulders (pin). But you are doing a tremendous amount of negative self-talk. The love is dead. The sex is no good. Yeah. The more you tell yourself that stuff, the worse it will get. The first step out of this morass you are in is to stop the negativity. As long as you stand there criticizing everything about your wife and about your life together, there will be no improvement. You have to start noticing the good and overlooking the bad. Yes, overlooking the bad. Focus on the good. Say something complimentary to her, such as, "I really appreciate the way you do this __________________ for me or for the girls."
Yep. I've never met the woman, but I am convinced that there is something she does well. You find it and notice it. That is the very first step out of this hole.
