H pushing Divorce

[beastiemanager]

Thank you Ericmsant2.

Well I did stay home and I mowed the lawn. H came and was surprised to see me here. I am having an awful time right now with my emotions. H had some paper for me and spoke to me instead of leaving it. This was nice. It was basically going over the same things we talked about before. Division of some things. And H told me he wasn't leaving me to fend for myself with divorce.

He will pay for house and such. I am grateful for that. But then he spoke about me getting married again in the future with no remorse or feeling of loss. I think that was what sparked the emotions. How he could say that so nonchalantly. I said, "I am not getting married again."

I thought I was going to be stronger after he left this time. It makes me so mad I get all emotional. Not in front of him of course. But I do have to fight back tears as he talks about the things in the house he wants to take. I wanted to ask him why he was in such a hurry to divorce me. But I didn't. I think my Higher Power was looking out for me.


I did say to him in reply to something he said about divorce and situation. I said, "I have been forced into all of this for the past 2 years, that I did not have a choice in any of it." He nodded his head yes. When he was leaving I asked if he was going to be here on his regular day next week. He said yes he would be. Also said he would let me know if he was not going to be here. That is the first time in close to 2 years he has offered to do that.

He also left some money for daughters. He has made them feel bad for asking for anything from him. They were in serious financial trouble over summer so I helped them as best I could. They don't want to ask him for help as he said they only call him when they need something. He was sick of it. Right. Not sick of needy OW though.

But then he asks me if I would please let him know about phone calls he gets from business office of hospital, concerning bills. I thought, well, why do you not have them call your cell phone? Why does your mail come here? And a friend was here to pick up something H was selling and an old friend came with the person. The old friend asked me if he was in the house taking a nap? WTF? This person knows about the situation I believe. I thought he was someone that was supporting H in his mlc thinking and him leaving his family. I guess he doesn't know the whole story.

I am feeling like H will not be back. I keep thinking he is doing all the stuff for the divorce so it is easy and gets done quickly. I wonder if he is going to marry OW. I feel like he is really not having any love at all for me. I know it is coming from an ill mlc mind. He just about runs when he is here and can't go fast enough. I am sure form guilt and the wanting to run away from it all.

I told him I was having a very difficult time with the paperwork sent by lawyer. I told him I did not have the information I was asked. H said that I did not have to fill it out. He spooke to lawyer. He said he thought he told me. I said "no, you did not." He apologized for not telling me and for having to wrack my brains trying to fill it out. Well that was a surpirse! An apology! Have not had one of those in a very long time.

Well I have rambled long enough. I am feeeling better. It helped to write it out. It is nice to have a place to vent.
Thanks!





But then he asks me if I would please let him know about phone calls he gets from business office of hospital, concerning bills. I thought, well, why do you not have them call your cell phone? Why does your mail come here? And A friend was here to pick up something H as selling and an old friend came with the person. The friend asked me if he was in the house taking a nap? WTF? This person knows about the situation I believe. I thought he was someone that was supporting H in his mlc thinking and him leaving his family. I guess he doesn't know the whole story.