It's human to want respect. And sex just for the sake of peace isn't respectful to either party. It makes a beggar of one partner, and some kind of sex-worker out of the other. At least, that's the way I see it. No-one in their 40s is looking for roses and champagne, but sex has to be something mutually wanted and enjoyed, not a bargaining chip, surely. It doesn't have to move the earth, but it should strengthen a relationship and make partners feel good, shouldn't it? Not be part of some blooming unwritten accounting scheme. If I've learned one thing from all of this, it's that in the bedroom, BOTH partners should feel at ease and happy to say yes, no, maybe, later, now, whatever. No-one should feel forced or be begging. NCU
Me: 46 H:42 Together for 18 yrs, married 14. 3 children: 2 girls 13 and 10, one boy 7. Husband had affair, ended it and then decided on separation. Separated 08/2010
