Yes, totally agree with DanceQueen re: above. This was a mistake I made early on to not really own/admit that what I did truly was an affair. It invalidates your spouse's feelings and hurt, which is as bad as the affair itself.
And if you have minimized in any way or tried to act like it was a "lesser" affair when talking about things with your H, then you have not truly taken full responsibility for your bad actions and for his real pain. In case you have minimized it, I am not saying you should raise this issue with him now, BUT if he chooses to raise it with you that you take the opportunity to really own what you have done and not try to minimize it. To apologize for how you have hurt him. Period.
This is good advice. We haven't ever talked about what I've done. He just knows what he knows and made a decision that way. IF I ever get a chance to talk to him about it I will put this advice to good use.
