No, not much has changed in house sitch. Haven't heard back from either buyer. So, not much to tell her. She got a voice mail from the bank on Tuesday and wanted to talk to me before she called them back. I'm sure they just want an update if a contract has been submitted yet. All I would tell her to do would be to call them and see what they want. She could then let me know and we'll go from there.
I could update her that I'm doing some minor fixes/painting to the house but there's no reason to tell her. Other than keeping the lines of communication open I just don't see much point in calling her. I'm not sure why it's so important to her to have me call her now? I'm handling things on my end without her, she needs to learn how to do the same on her end. Seriously, she doesn't want me but still expects me to do everything. She can call the bank on her own without my input.
M 38 WAW 36 Together 19 years Married 12 years Bomb/Separated Oct. 09 I love my wife Sitch
and that's it. don't call her and don't worry about p!ssing her off.
Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
Well I see the boards are back up. So much has happened in the past several days. My W had an epiphany and decided to come back. We decided not to sell the house and moved back in together over the weekend…ok, not really.
Ok, real update. I was able to stop house from foreclosure. Had to go with plan B to do it though. Buyers seemed to have backed out…haven’t heard from them since last week. New set of potential buyers might be interested. I’m working on that.
That was your "Mr.Nice Guy" attitude, remember when I told you that you should have been pressing that agent harder, speak to them. Tell them that waiting for several hours for an update wasn't required last week, they need to qualify their buyers, if the buyers aren't interested, there is no use in mentioning contracts and other such nonsense. Tell the agent to only contact you when he has an offer on the table, you probably have a lock box on the house, you don't have to be there to show the house, the agent and their buyers can come check it out without you being there.
You wasted a lot of energy with those potential buyers last week, I hope you learned your lesson from that. Dealing with a $hitty real estate agent who doesn't pre-qualify his clients is just you spinning your wheels waiting on hope. Tell him flat out, call me if you have a contract on the table, don't bother me for anything else.
Time for you to sweeten the deal and sharpen your pencil on the price, you got an extension on the foreclosure, sitting on your butt isn't going to make the house sell any faster. Selling the property at lower price is going to be a better option than foreclosure, update the listing with a lower price and get rid of the property, right now that thing is like an anchor tied around your neck, get rid of it and move on.
No, not much has changed in house sitch. Haven't heard back from either buyer. So, not much to tell her. She got a voice mail from the bank on Tuesday and wanted to talk to me before she called them back. I'm sure they just want an update if a contract has been submitted yet. All I would tell her to do would be to call them and see what they want. She could then let me know and we'll go from there.
I could update her that I'm doing some minor fixes/painting to the house but there's no reason to tell her. Other than keeping the lines of communication open I just don't see much point in calling her. I'm not sure why it's so important to her to have me call her now? I'm handling things on my end without her, she needs to learn how to do the same on her end. Seriously, she doesn't want me but still expects me to do everything. She can call the bank on her own without my input.
Hasn't this been your eternal catch phrase in your thread?
"Other than keeping the lines of communication open "
Always trying to keep the lines of communication open, why? Give her a shout when the house sells, not when it doesn't.
How would like to hear constantly that the house didn't sell?
That is depressing news. But you in your effort to keep the lines of communication open, keep depressing her. I would hate to hear every day, every two days, every week...
"Just wanted to let you know in one of my always annoying voicemails that you just live to listen to and then delete promptly, the house still didn't sell, talk to you later, byeeeeeeee....." click
Yes I'm being a smart ass but observe the point I'm making.
You are the messenger of depressing news. You always remind her of you and your inability to get the job done that way.
Why would that ever be considered attractive?
Think about it.
You don't need to tell her your fixing up the place, in fact if you tell her that you still have minor fixes and painting to do to the house, you will probably make her even more angry.
You: "Wife I'm going to continue doing some minor fixes/painting to the house..."
Wife" "WTF?! You mean you still have stuff to do around the house? How long has this taken you to do this work? You've been doing these things forever, my goodness, can't you get anything done ever?! Will you be doing the same work when someone eventually buys the house?!"
Maybe a bit extreme but thinking about things from your wife's point of view, that's probably her reaction to whatever you have to say: disdain, negativity, colorless, emotionless, tired, wanting to run away, tired of hearing your voice concerning things that have no excitement or positivity attached to them whatsoever.
No don't update her, that's my advice.
If she wants an update.... SHE WILL CALL YOU AND ASK YOU.
Instead of giving her an encyclopedia for answer, you keep everything short.
And if she expects you to do everything, you tell her plain and simple "Look I'm really busy and I'll get to it if I have time to do it, if you have free time at your end, you're more than welcome to take care of whatever task you're worried about, if you need my help, let me know and I'll see if I can schedule it in."
You're an open book, and one she has read a million times, you have to see that by now.
Robx, I only have a minute to post but will respond in more detail later tonight. First, I agree with everything you said. Second, W has contacted me 5 times since last Friday asking me for an update. I haven't wanted to update her this past week but now she's asking me to call her with an update. I agree it's depressing. So what do I do? Ignore her? Gr8 had a good idea to send her a simple text saying there's nothing new to update. What do you think since she's asking me to call her?
M 38 WAW 36 Together 19 years Married 12 years Bomb/Separated Oct. 09 I love my wife Sitch
She said nothing has ever worked out for us with this stuff over the past 3 years. She said to just let the house go to foreclosure.
Honor her feelings. As much as it hurts to have your heart broken, no one views this level of obsession as love. It is hurtful. You have to move on, MZA.
For god sakes call her. If she is trying so hard to get a hold of you, its important. Don't play stupid ridiculous games of 'I will one up you' when there is financial catastrophe around the corner. She is not calling to talk about her feelings. She just wants the house to go away. Be a Man.
And do yourself a favor, please. Brace yourself for next week have your support group ready.
It was like me just talking about the kids, facts and need to know info.
Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
