How To Tell The Kids

[DumpedforMIL]

Thanks for responding MIL.

geez, i need to change my name.

i'm probably further ahead of you on the road to d.
i'm also the worst db-er ever to grace these boards. i have done nothing except to work on me. that's about all i can do when i have zero, nada, zippo contact with my stbxh.

my h is waiting out this mandatory 365 day of NC before filing for d. so technically, i have not been served but it's only a matter of time. i reckon it with sitting on death row while shackled and duct tape over my mouth.

anyway, i went through a similar thing as what you are going through now. i didn't meet this person via dating site. but a business contact. he flirted over email. then it went to text. then it went to phone call. and i know what you mean when you say you needed that attention and ego boost. it was really nice to have someone give you some much needed attention.

he wanted to meet me. i was this close to date. my gut instinct knew it was the wrong thing to do. i met him for coffee and realize i was not attracted in any way shape or form. and i regretted meeting for coffee. he pursued me and i ignored. i knew i wasn't ready but he didn't care. i think he wanted a sandwich. i'm not that kind of woman.

I am tired of being alone and even just talking with someone who seems interested would be validation and an ego boost for me.

what would you do if you got a match? it starts off with an email. don't answer just yet. i'll get back to this.

I am not really sure what I am looking for exactly. An honest, caring person to spend some time with. Someine to make a connection with. Nothing too serious at this point. Just someone to have fun with.

you have to be careful. you're better off figuring out what you are looking for before doing this. you're not being fair to the other person who you may get matched up with. "i'm looking for something serious and you're undecided?" you're pretty 'delicate' at the moment. you don't need any more rejection. protect yourself from that.

Emotionally I still struggle with this at times. Mostly I am in a pretty good place, but I tend to slip back into the hole from time to time feeling sorry for myself. Mentally I keep telling myself that I need to recover and get on with life. This isn't the end of the world, even though it feels like it at times.

where is that article on what makes a man attractive?
we need to get out from under the "sorry" duvet. it's thick, warm, and you don't want to come out. but you have to. it's going to suffocate you.

before you enter the dating world, you have to be the best 'dan' you could be. you will attract what you are. if you're interested in depressed, "oh poor me" type women .. stay the way you are. but you won't get the great girl if you aren't the 'great' guy you are.

Ahhhh......sandwiches! It is a metaphor for making love.

got it. i'll never look at a sandwich the same way again.

I don't know, part of me struggles with this because I am not divorced yet, but she has filed and made it abundantly clear to me that she isn't gong to change her mind, so I might as well consider myself divorced, right?

that's a personal decision. i'm not divorced yet but i don't see myself being available to date. but it sounds to me like you aren't either.

Also, even if I want this to still work out, isn't it kind of pathetic for me to just sit here and wait for her?

you are responsible for your own feelings. nobody is judging you or calling you pathetic. however, i don't advocate sitting there and waiting. you can wait but why not work on yourself and make you the better option .. not for your w but for any woman out there.

That is not showing her that I am able to move on and be fine without her.

so you're doing this to get a reaction out of her? think about it.

I have read on the boards that dating is what finally turned it around for many guys here and if not, at least they were heaapy enjoying time with other women.

what works for one, may not necessarily work for another.
it didn't work for me.

you know what? you need to do some more work on you before you can put yourself out there. you need to get to a point where dating and attention from women isn't an ego boost anymore.

what have you done for you? what have you done to make yourself the best guy in WI?

Me.