H's MLC - he is still lost but I found myself

[ericmsant2]

Mila,

my anger and resentment is still showing in my interactions with H. It was gone for a while and now that things are coming to head it's back.

1 – YOU have every right to be angry.
2 – How YOU deal with the anger will show H AND YOURSELF just how far YOU have come
3 – Do not internalize the Anger. Find something to let it out.

It’s been a year since the bomb and in that year I’ve seen my life come apart.

Sometime in order for things to get fixed, to be the way they were meant to be….they must come apart.

Everything that I ever believed in is no more.

Yeah….right NOW it is no more. Tomorrow, next week, next year, 5 years…..what you believe in and want JUST may come true.

....the impact it’s having on my life.

Yes it is having an impact. So what will you do with this impact? Also, stop focusing on the negatives…stop for a second..

Okay let me remind you or better yet tell YOU what I see is the “impact on YOUR life”

Mila was weak at one point….NOW she is STRONG

Mila was codependent at one point…NOW she can STAND…not JUST for her M BUT for HERSELF

Mila was scared – now she faces HER fears

Mila was so against change…now she is moving forward with CHANGE….Even if it hurts

Mila would sit back and “respond” NOW SHE LEADS!

So yeah…I can see the impact this has on YOUR life.

I got my heart shattered,

All things must DIE if they are to be REBORN!

I’ve lost my love,

Have YOU? I would also say YOU found YOUR Love – YOU.

As for YOUR H….do you know what tomorrow’s lotto numbers are?

my best friend

My best friend actually jump off the roof and killed himself. It hurt..and then a funny thing happened..years later…I found a new best friend.

our family, all that we have build together,

Your D will always be in YOUR life. The memories that you have of the good times in YOUR M can never be taken away from YOU.

After running a successful business for 20 years I have to now find a job, because there is no income...

Why not start YOUR own business? Something that YOU want to do. Do not be afraid to succeed Mila. Do not be afraid – YOU started a business 20 years ago. What do you think you are LESS business savvy NOW than 20 years ago? No YOUR wiser!

So for me this has been a year of incredible losses and I do blame him for it....

DB 101 – change how you look at things…..Incredible loss OR incredible opportunity to do the things YOU always wanted to do.

I struggle with existential issues that were forced upon me by H's actions and that’s fueling my anger and stirring up all kinds of negative emotions towards him. Right now

These feeling are normal – feel them…then please let them go.

I don’t know how to just put on a fake smile and pretend that everything is OK and treat him the same way as I did in the past, with love and compassion.

1 – YOU DO NOT have to put on a fake smile.
2 – Sometime compassion cannot make it’s way out cause it is blocked by ANGER. Release the anger and the compassion starts to flow.

OK he is in MLC, but it that an excuse to tolerate bad behavior?

There is NO excuse for BAD behavior. There is also NO excuse for R’s with no or limited boundaries.

Mila – I am not trying to be insensitive. I am sorry for the pain you feel. Take this pain and use it! Take this pain and learn from it.. Take this pain and release it. It does YOU no good. Everything you feel is okay…it is normal…

Let go Mila

Let go of everything….

Then rebuild….

Rebuild YOU the Way YOU want to be…


I am sorry Mila that you are going through this…DO NOT question if there is gold at the end of the rainbow – there is…

If you look inside you

You will find it…

That Gold

Is the new Mila!

God Bless,
Eric