Me29 S3 H left 4/1/09 I file 8/2/10 Divorce final 5/17/11 1st http://www.tinyurl.com/25lhu52 2nd http://www.tinyurl.com/2c35ueg 3rd http://www.tinyurl.com/322yk89
I've tried more and more to not answer or be responsive to my husbands text messages or phone calls. Well about two weeks ago he called and I just didn't answer. he persisted to call 35 times in a half hour. I didn't answer. It was 11:30 at night and I was trying to sleep. Next thing I know someone is banging on my bedroom window and shaking the gate that was locked. My dog was barking and I was FREAKED out... Well it was my h. I went to the gate and he was angry I wasn't answering his calls. I told him he needed to calm down and that I was sleeping. He came in the house and gave me a hug. I broke down and started to cry some mostly because my heart was racing from being freaked out. My h started to cry also and he said again that he doesn't know what he is doing. I asked him again what was wrong and he said he doesn't know. He stayed the night and said that I must hate him. I told him I didn't hate him.
Fast forward two days and he calls and is upset that I haven't returned his phone call from his lawyer. Apparently I am suppose to just drop everything for him and what he wants. I explained to him that I was at work and didn't have the time to do this yet. Again, I chose to not respond to his text messages and he was persistenly calling me on Monday morning and texting while I was at work. So he calls me at work (which he never does). He's upset because I'm not responding to him and thought I wanted to talk with him. He came over that night but was really distant and upset because someone stole his scuba gear (his fault by the way he left it in the back of his truck). After he left he sends me a text saying that I've never even asked him to come home or said that I want him back.
The roller coaster goes up and down over and over and I just want off and am not sure that will happen even if we are divorced.
M 35, husband 35 M 10 Limbo 9/2009-12/2010 he left for his moms and came home way to many times to count Home 12/2010-present
If you do D, it will be over because you have nothing tying the two of you together. You can change your number and never talk to him again. I know that is hard, but the roller coaster will be over.
As for H saying you never asked him to come home. Don't listen to him. YOu know that you have asked and hey...you are not the one to ask him to leave so why ask him to come home. He chose you leave and he can choose to come home. That is all on him. Don't take it personally or think you should have done more because you have done all you can. Now it is up to him.
Me29 S3 H left 4/1/09 I file 8/2/10 Divorce final 5/17/11 1st http://www.tinyurl.com/25lhu52 2nd http://www.tinyurl.com/2c35ueg 3rd http://www.tinyurl.com/322yk89
Well my H has been home again for almost 4 weeks. I'm pretty sure that we shouldn't be living together. I'm in a hard place though. If I tell him he can't be here he will most likely refuse to help pay for our bills. Because I would be kicking him out. He was already behind some and has since moving home been contributing again financially. I cannot afford to keep us afloat on my income alone.
The reason I say he shouldn't be here is that nothing has changed. I mean nothing. He just goes to work (thankfully he does go to work) and when he isn't working he is sitting around depressed, telling me the same chit as before. "I'm not sure what is wrong with me", "I can't get out of the way of myself", "I can't get motivated"....blah, blah, blah. Same thing he has been saying over and over and he doesn't want to do anything. He seems irritable and constantly annoyed. It's very hard to talk with him without feeling like I'm asking 50 questions and am interviewing him.
I'm almost positive the OW gave him the brush off AGAIN and that is why he came home. I had to be in court yesterday and my H asked his lawyer to move our trial date ahead to August vs. May of next year. He said this will allow us time to facilitate possibly reconciling. However though over the last couple of days my H has been acting very odd. He seems distracted and I'm almost confident he is talking with the OW AGAIN. I wouldn't be surprised if he asked his lawyer to not file the forms asking for the extension.
I again just don't know what to do. I can't make him leave, although he might choose to. Especially if the OW will talk with him again. At that point then I need to be be very detached and not communicate at all. I'm probably going to let the OW know again that he has been living at home and we were reconciling out M.
Phew, life can really beat you up sometimes.
M 35, husband 35 M 10 Limbo 9/2009-12/2010 he left for his moms and came home way to many times to count Home 12/2010-present
Look, I just found out my w ife of 17 years was involved in an emotional affair which she swore was only emotional. She tried to kill herself and kept begging we work it out. I took her to the psych hospital and she finally admitted it was a physical affair to. We reconciled in July but kept the affair til I caught her. She lied and lied and lied. Cheaters Lie period. Please don't be niave like me. You love your spouse and dont want to believe the truth. But you have to be ready for anything. She lied about everything.
Theres more to tell but i am too weak to convey.
Be strong but always be honest to yourself. DONT BELIEVE HIM!
BITS M-46 W-42 M-16y T-19 y s10 s15 BombDec.19/09 Sep-F16/10 Sep Papers signed by W- June 30/10 Recon July 5/10 PA foundOut- Oct 30/10 Mental HospNov/10 moved out Nov/10 Leg Sep Mar 15/11
