Thanks IDU. It's been a long road. This list, well it saved me. It saved our M.
And I feel bad for Pinhead because our Ms were alike in so many ways: My H and I both had stopped feeling attracted to one another too, there was no physical affection, no emotional connection whatsoever, he'd very rarely tell me he loved me any more, he blamed me for all the problems in our marriage (and told me so a number of times), he was regularly disrespectful towards me in public. It was awful. I'd started looking for apartments online... I'd been attracted to another man for years and flirted with him at an Xmas party last year... it was really, really bad.
And now... I cannot believe how he's changing, how I'm changing... we're like different people... the attraction's back, the physical affection & connection is getting stronger everyday...
So when I see you Pinhead, ready to leave, I just want to shake you, cry and reach through my computer screen and beg you to keep trying because I'm so scared you will miss out on what could be a really beautiful new marriage, if you give up now.
But. It does sound like you have your mind made up. And I'm so, so sad to see it.
FMV, my brother has counseled me for the last four months not to give up, nor to leave. Says it almost always ends up in divorce because of hurt feelings. Part of me would love to have her just give me one reason to stay that wasn't based on our girls or finances. Just say, "I want you to stay." But she won't say that, can't say that.
And if she did, I'd probably still go. Because I would need more than words to trust her. I mean hell, she's slept with me to keep me "happy."
