You're still playing 'the game.' Dropping the rope isn't about being "keen on her tactics." It's about doing what is right for you and your son.
You continue to obsess about her instead of YOU. You expect a change in her to come after the mediator threw cold water on her ideas. You want her to say "I'm wrong..."
Newsflash---
She's not wrong. She feels what she feels, she wants out. She doesn't understand your behaviour, so she does what she's done all along in your relationship: try to control you as much as she can.
Quit doing stuff like
I anticipate she'll get angry more and try to manipulate me
Just quit thinking about her so obsessively. Think about life without her. Set a goal that doesn't involve her, but involves you moving on. Then take the steps to achieve that goal.
You don't trust yourself. You bounce around like a puppy that has been kicked, hoping only to get an "attaboy." Build trust in yourself.
