1) Figure out exactly, in behavioral terms, what I needed from my H that I wasn't getting.
2) Build up my self esteem so I could stand up assertively to any negative treatment without withdrawing from it, but also without getting aggressive
3) Learn how to ask him for the needs I had of him - again, in BEHAVIORAL terms - clearly, without blame and repeatedly over time. (to clarify - the needs I'm speaking of here, aren't the kind that only I can fill, of course)
4) Assert to him that these needs are so important that I was willing to leave the M if they were not fulfilled
5) And IF, after I did all that but STILL didn't see him begin reaching out to reconnnect? ONLY then could I walk away, knowing that I'd done everything in my power to save the relationship.
And if I didn't do all that, then I hadn't earned my way out yet.
