Bottom line is that (as I have noticed seems to happen often in these sitches) even though he is the one that instigated all this, had an A, talked D, etc etc etc... when I am the one who takes action and moves forward, he gets cold feet. ugh.
Ugh. I know exactly how annoying that is. And have no idea WHY some of these WAS' do that! Anyone care to crack that one?
Re: the weight gain, I kind of miss the LBS diet! Yes, yes, yes, I know it was very unhealthy. I was scared to get a cold because I thought it could easily spiral into pneumonia. But damn if I didn't look good! Plus I could eat whatever I wanted and not gain an ounce. I never lost my appetite so I was eating burgers and potatoes and chocolate shakes. Now I've gained 12 pounds in the past two months! Ack! And I feel fat and ugly which makes me sad which just makes me want to eat more. Grrr.
Rocked, you just do what's best for you. Do not let H's words get to you. What's best for you is what's best for the kids now. You need to take care of you in order to properly take care of them. H is just pissed off because he doesn't get to control how this is going down. He wants to put on the brakes to regain that control. If you have proof of the A then you have grounds and can file and move forward.
Always remember that you did try everything to save your M. You gave him space, you let him come back and wanted to work things out. H is the one who wouldn't agree to go to counseling. H is the one who chose his relationship with OW over his M and his family. His choices, his consequences.
Hugs!
Last edited by pearlharbr; 10/07/1004:28 PM.
If you love somebody, set them free. http://tinyurl.com/2empx2g
I have gained 15 pounds since this time last year, all of it in about 2 months Jan/Feb while the divorce was being finalized. I can't seem to shake it! Grr...
And my IC has to remind me that I did everything I could, he chose to leave, so don't let him put the guilt on me. Same goes to you...
I now have my lovely new laptop so can sneak back on here and check in with you all, seems Ive missed quite a bit over the summer hols, whats all this about Puppy leaving? What a pity if he has, its hard to give all to your M/R and help on here all the time.. Im now back at work and by the time I get my chores dones its 8.30pm and we have a 9pm cuddle watershed so not too much time to come on here and see whats going on,
Anyway hope your all well will try and mooch round and see how you are all doing xxx
____________________________
W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
They said Puppy got banned. Seems odd as he gave some great advice.
There was a post about how people shouldnt expose affairs to everyone, that it goes against MWD's DB tactics, etc. I was able to read some of his post (PDT) before he left and he said he felt censored, etc. That was before the site was down for some days.
Originally Posted By: BobbiJo
And my IC has to remind me that I did everything I could, he chose to leave, so don't let him put the guilt on me. Same goes to you...
Yep and keep reminding yourself of that. You tried. He walked. Not your problem. At least you were a good person who wanted to work on your M, which is what you're supposed to do! DUH! LOL. The WAS' have a strange view of reality.
Re: the weight gain, I kind of miss the LBS diet! Yes, yes, yes, I know it was very unhealthy. I was scared to get a cold because I thought it could easily spiral into pneumonia. But damn if I didn't look good! Plus I could eat whatever I wanted and not gain an ounce. I never lost my appetite so I was eating burgers and potatoes and chocolate shakes. Now I've gained 12 pounds in the past two months! Ack! And I feel fat and ugly which makes me sad which just makes me want to eat more. Grrr.
LOL I hear ya Pearl... that was one silver lining in this whole mess! I was joking with a good friend of mine the other day who is struggling with her weight... "hey, all you have to do is find some man to cheat on you and abandon you and it will all melt away!" We had a good chuckle about that. It is good that I am getting to the point that I can laugh about those things.
I do miss being able to eat anything I want. That was kind fun!
How is your ankle doing Pearl? Are you able to start walking/running again?
Try belly dancing... or some form of dance. It is a good work out, especially when you practice every day. The extra bonus is that it is fun, and also helps you tap into your feminine/sensual side which I think we need after we have been through rejection/abandonment experiences.
And my IC has to remind me that I did everything I could, he chose to leave, so don't let him put the guilt on me. Same goes to you...
Yep and keep reminding yourself of that. You tried. He walked. Not your problem. At least you were a good person who wanted to work on your M, which is what you're supposed to do! DUH! LOL. The WAS' have a strange view of reality.
BBJ and Sol... thank you! You are both right and in my heart of hearts I know this to be true. Most of the time I can remember this. I have realized that minimizing contact with H is best for me right now. When I don't have him accusing/manipulating I can remember these truths and move forward in my healing. I do have peace of mind and heart that I did all I could and then some. I know you ladies can rest in that for yourselves too. (((Hugs)))
I now have my lovely new laptop so can sneak back on here and check in with you all, seems Ive missed quite a bit over the summer hols, whats all this about Puppy leaving? What a pity if he has, its hard to give all to your M/R and help on here all the time.. Im now back at work and by the time I get my chores dones its 8.30pm and we have a 9pm cuddle watershed so not too much time to come on here and see whats going on,
Anyway hope your all well will try and mooch round and see how you are all doing xxx
Hey beautiful lady! Glad you popped by! I am happy to hear about your new laptop! I got one too! Always so happy to hear from you and to hear you are doing well my friend.
The whole "Puppy" thing... very unfortunate. I have a lot of loyalty to him because he helped me so much and I will always be grateful to him. I have heard his perspective and I won't get into it, but just feel it is very unfortunate that his voice will no longer be heard on this forum. 'nuff said.
