I swear being on the other side is just as tormenting as being a LBS. Constantly weighing reasons to stay. Being afraid of change. Being worried about kids, money, loneliness.
Don't I know it. But like you said (and I'm saying this over and over as well) You deserve to be loved. You deserve a normal relationship. So right now do you.
The girls will appreciate seeing a very strong daddy who loves them. It may not be immediately obvious, but you will notice it in the long run.
"I feel like Rocky in the fifteenth round, beaten beyond recognition, when I realize, the only person I've been fighting for is...myself."
