"Find out the reality of these things that interest you. They may lead you to more and better things. Things that make your toes tap."
Expanding on this ... I always recommend dancing for GAL activities. And TAP DANCING is actually an excellent form of GAL. It requires a lot of practice, to keep your mind focused on someething other than your sitch. It is REALLY fun, once you get a few steps learned. It is something you can do in private, so you don't have to go out and embarass yourself anywhere. It is exercise, as while you are practicing you do actually get some cardio activity sometimes. It tones up your legs. You get to buy special shoes. And best of all...you can impress people when you whip out a timestep and they didn't even know you can tap dance. You can search around and find a local class or a private instructor.
There are many other types of dancing as well that include an exercise element to them.
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SoAsh...the only cases like yours I have heard of that have reconciled are ones where both parties wanted the reconciliation. So if your H changes his mind, there is hope. But I would not count on that. As I suggested, just pray that he heals and can be happy again one day. That is the purest prayer you can say for him right now.
I have had to face a similar fate as you. I nearly killed the man who loved me (emotionally). I hurt him worse than if I had thrown him off a cliff. He claimed I "ruined his life" and sadly, he is living a life that does in fact seem ruined. It is 7 years later now and he lives alone and doesn't appear to be looking for any new love. I was his second wife and his second divorce, and he feels he is just unlucky in love and doesn't know how to pick a woman, so he avoids any future heartbreak by staying alone.
For many years I felt horrible for this and took all the responsibility for his current situation. But eventually...after I'd said all the prayers I could for him...I finally released the idea that it is still my fault. He is making his choices now, and although he has every right to blame me if he wants, at this time, his life course is his choice. I feel finally that I have made my peace with the situation.
I will never feel that I was justified in hurting him, but I do feel that I have passed through to the other side of self forgiveness and sincere contrition. I did all the internal work to figure out how I could have done this to him, and I have extended verbal and written apologies years after the D (which he did accept).
We have kids together so the only time I will ever see him is when they get married...which one already did, and he did not even hug me at our daughter's wedding. But that's alright. He hates me and I cannot change that. That's fine. It is just a consequence I will always have to live with.
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I have moved on and am remarried and happy. I will never EVER be unfaithful to my husband. That is the one thing I can say for sure for the rest of my life.
