She is full of it to think you have any emotional ties to her anymore. Her last paragraph was totally uncalled for, but it does remind you who you are dealing with - someone who is an a$$hole.
As for the kids extracurricular and activity expenses, I went through a bit of a butting of heads after the D was final. Nothing was in writing about who paid what in the judgement. However, there was one short exchange of 2 verbal sentences by both L's at the status hearing and it was transcribed by the court recorder. Her L asserted that I was to continue paying the extracurricular expenses and mine agreed.
So the way it worked out is I continue paying what I had been paying during the year long D process. Any increases or new activities could be negotiated or I could refuse. For instance, the violin lessons went up and I convince XW to cover the increase. I was also able to get her to handle the piano lesson expenses as well. She and OM got the kids into tennis lessons and she pays for that.
My advice is to pick your battles carefully. Maybe there does need to be some clarification as to financial responsibilities. I wrote out some post D agreements on my own and XW and I both signed them and forwarded to the L's for their records. You are dealing with a much more hostile XW and you may want to suggest the use of a mediator to save money in getting some agreements worked out.
