So, I am having a hard time this week. Not sure what it is I want. She has told her mom that she really wants this, but if I havent changed then it wont be any good for her to come home. So I am like WTF. But I havent talked to her at all. I am leaving it til saturday. I am making a list of boundaries, I have made a plan, and she will need to follow my direction. I am not trying to control her if she comes home, but i have a really good routine with my children. I dont want to lose that. My kids have never been so well behaved, so helpful and such hard workers as they are now. I dont want things to slide back to the way they were.
To let her back into my life will be the hardest part, I wont even let her in my room, she can sleep in the spare bed. I am having my lawyer write up an agreement that within the next 36 months if for any reason this rec. doesnt work out, then she leaves the home and our seperation agreement stays intact as written and filed with the court. I just dont want to have to fight this battle again if this doesnt work.
She has been applying for jobs all week, that much I know and she does have a couple of interviews lined up. I firmly believe she wants her family back. I just dont know if she is strong enough to get through this. She went to a C. one week since she left, decided she hated it so she hasnt gone back. She has done nothing for herself and she admitted that to me. I have to lay down some serious boundaries and swhe will need to accept them. I did tell her to go to her union rep and get her job back, say she was under tremendous stress etc, everyone at her work knows what is going on so hopefully she will get it back. I know pushing her back to her job will allow contact with OM but dam it, in today economy, I refuse to pay my bills and hers. She can request a transfer to another depot, its the post office for petes sake, they always have positions open. This is a short term thing, but she needs to be working.
Well thats my vent for today, thanks for the comments and for reading my post.
