Where does the WAW go

[Doodi]

Since he is gone right now, then a dear john letter would be good enough since you cannot do the face to face with the one you have been with so long.

Well I got the Dear John letter this morning on my FB account. He said that it was obvious I was Done so we should proceed. I will not lie and say that for a split second I didn't scream NO but right now I'm just trying to digest what is happening.

I have not responded via email or phone. I am trying to figure out what emotion is rolling through me. Is it because I love him and can't live without him? Is it fear of losing what I hope/wish he could be? Fear of the reality of single parenthood? Or guilt over having destroyed my M and family? I will not act until I'm sure of which emotion I'm dealing with. Because if it's not because of love then the other reasons really aren't good enough for me to keep dragging things out.

you have some serious issues and from what i continue to read, he will never meet what you need.

I know I have serious issues. I had them when he met me and I'm trying to work them out. It is my growth that has opened this can of worms but it something that had to be done. I am going to continue working on me as long as I can.

now you are saying he needs to stop loving and detach.. why so it will make the decision easier on you, maybe he needs to do what he needs.

I don't know if I want it to be 'easier' on me. I don't think any of this has been easy on me. I think what I want is for him to understand/validate what I'm feeling. He has started to validate here and there over the past few months but he always goes back to "This is your fault and you need to fix you so we can be happy". His magnifying glass is only aimed at me and he never looks at the things he has done in our 20+ yrs together that may have done damage.

As for him doing what he needs, I do want him to do that. I'm not keeping him from it. Out of the 2 of us, he definitely has more of a life than I do. I would love to see him stand on his own two feet and not be needy but that hasn't happened.

I have always felt, and been told by him, that I keep everything going and without me it would fail. That's a lot to carry especially when I'm supposed to have a partner. I don't have a partner, I have another person looking to me saying why is our life this way and what are you going to do to make it better.

So I guess I've reached the point that I want to take care of just MY 2 kids and not my mother-in-laws. Contrary to popular belief...he is old enough to stand on his own.