Punkin, Give any response the 24 to 48 hour rule. You may want to do as Eric suggested and not respond at all.
I don't think at this point either one of you are ready to sit down and talk civilly. That isn't surprising since you really haven't been at this that long and also the fact of what you're talking about doesn't generally lend itself for having a good conversation and outcome. You are too emotionally charged right now to look out for your best interests, and your H, well, he's out to lunch, and not due back anytime soon.
I say stay on your path and hold things up until November, when your health insurance will kick in. Just simply tell your H that you have decided to let your attorney do your talking. This is not you punishing H, but protecting yourself as much as you can from H's crisis.
FTR, I agree that the ow in Punkin's case is pushing and pushing hard. This woman has shown her true colors to Punkin on more than one occasion. The ow makes it clear what her intentions are concerning Punkin's H. I believe she's trying to hold on to what she considers her gravy train.
