cheated on, lied to, and now I am moving on

[25yearsmlc]

Thanks CTH, but considering I hadn't heard from my L in a month and a half, I figured a quick e-mail was worth it especially because last week I was at work late almost every day and wasn't able to call during business hours. I just wanted to get the ball moving again and paying for me $30 is worth it (I get a teacher discount through the union).

More of H being H. He bought S and I Beauty and the Beast (I have said since forever how I couldn't wait for it to come out of the vault). He dropped it off tonight. Anyway the reason for typing is S asked a bunch of questions after H. Asking if H still loved me. I said no. S said yes he does, probably because of the DVD. Then said something about H being angry. I said no H isn't angry and then S brought up how H and I fought and that is why H doesn't love me because he yelled at me all the time. I said daddy doesn't yell at me all the time and we haven't fought since last winter. The last time we fought was last January. Man it is crazy for being 3 how much he remembers. He is sharp and that worries me a little, but maybe it is normal.

I don't want to quibble or make you feel worse, okay? But why invalidate every single thing your son says? Why not take it in and then shade it in a way that you feel is healthier for him? I mean, telling him his perceptions are completely off, when they're not, isn't something that will help him. IMO obviously. But he saw what he saw, so why tell him black is white? You can explain. Also, who says your h doesn't love you anymore? You can love someone and not want to be married to them. I'm fairly sure your h will always appreciate the fact you gave birth to his son.Why not refer those questions to your h since they are about HIS feelings and not yours? And even with love, Maybe you do fight too much (or there's an OW, etc) but the time for those types of details is far from now at this age. Point is, allow your son to tell his truth and see if you can validate but explain his perceptions so he learns to trust and not doubt what he sees. Just a thought. Good luck, sorry you're here.
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