Perhaps we should all be working together to find solutions rather then to nit pick at one another.
I understand that it takes a long time to recover from an affair. It takes years to rebuild trust again. I get it, I still have "moments" and my Husband has been home for over 3 years. We are a work in progress
Each one of us found our way to this place because our Spouse decided to change the rules of the game and chose their happiness over their marriage.
As I posted once before, I don't have a degree in counceling or psychology. All I can offer is advice and share what worked for me and the areas I screwed up in.
I don't want to be bashed because I can't site passages from the science world and add footnotes to my posts. You can disagree with me respectably, or ignore my posts. But please don't ruin this place for other people by being rude and by trying to humiliate me.
As I tell my children each day when they leave for school, play nicely with others and treat people how you want them to treat you.
Blessings, BND
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
understand that it takes a long time to recover from an affair.
This is off-point.
Intervention/exposure doesn't happen when you are recovering from an affair. That would be pointless.
Recovering from an affair is another animal.
Intervention and exposure happen because one spouse has an ongoing affair, has no desire to stop the affair, and is not interested in rebuilding the marriage whatsoever.
The point is do you allow yourself to be exposed to this behavior, do you allow its destructive side effects to continue to take place (i.e. financial drain, emotional abuse) without protecting yourself, and do you or do you not seek help from those who might be marriage friendly? And these are valid points when it comes to saving a marriage because... continued emotional abuse from an ongoing betrayal from an unremorseful spouse will eventually lead the LBS to completely lose any and all respect for their abuser along with their own self-respect for allowing this in their life so long, and you are left with an LBS with huge issues to work through and about zero interest in saving the marriage if it goes on long enough.
Quote:
But please don't ruin this place for other people by being rude and by trying to humiliate me.
What the heck are you talking about?
Last edited by TimeHeals; 10/07/1011:10 AM.
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
