Beyond Depression..but still a losing battle?

[Lucky11too]

Yay! The boards are back up again. It's actually been an interesting week since I last posted. Starting with S, he was just such a sick boy and broke my heart! =( He just couldn't get rid of his fever (we were going on 5 days), so I took him to the dr last Tuesday. The dr couldn't find anything specifically wrong with him, but b/c the fever sounded suspicious, he gave him some anti-biotics. S is all better now and is back to his wild crazy self! Yay.

With H, well all I can say is that he reminds me of the kids tune "and when you're up you're up, and when you're down you're down, and when you're only half-way up, you're neither up or down". haha. Well, H has been on the up and my life has been wonderful these past 10 days (yay). I feel like we are dating teenagers again. He invited and took me out to dinner last Thursday and then came over to have dinner with me and S on Friday. He texts everyday to ask how my day is, says good night at night - it's the works. It feels good to receive so much affection, but I can't help but feel reserved in my emotions just waiting for the next low. I'm trying to enjoy it and encourage progress in our R, but still trying to protect myself as well. I had a surprising instance where I invited H to come with my family on our outing (apple picking!), but H ended up having to work and suggested the following weekend, but b/c I had already made plans with my parents to go, so it couldn't be changed. I was waiting for the blowup, but instead he just said to take good pics! Obviously it just depends where he is at emotionally, b/c S's 1st apple experience is a way bigger deal than some stupid dinner with my neighbors, but what a different outcome! This week continues to go well. Today was the first day they opened the new place for lunch and H invited me to come visit him (the new place is actually super close to my work). I did and since there was only 1 customer there, we had a great time talking. He showed me the place & asked my opinion about paint colors for it, etc. Good times! And he even invited me back tomorrow (but I have to pick up S from preschool tomorrow) and suggested I come back on a night and try the real food. (the lunch menu is small and boring). We've already made plans to have dinner on Friday night and hopefully take S out somewhere fun on Saturday. It's geat to see H so happy right now (and also so into me). I just keep hoping he'll see what we "can" be and work with me to work on us. I know that conversation about us and our future needs to come up here shortly, so I hope this progress continues! I'm trying not to get too optimistic b/c I know this is really just a temporary high, but I figure I might as well enjoy it and make the most out of it. How to acutally get this to move onto the next stage tho is completely beyond me!