I know what you mean, while I can't say I've experienced it at your level but the brief connection I felt with someone not long ago (first time in 10 years) was great, pretty amazing at times- despite the fact we were two very different people.
It's hard being the one who thinks that things are good but the other person feels differently. I wonder if it's because people are searching for very specific things or wanting/expecting too much from the other as opposed to seeing them as an enhancement? They say we waste time looking for the perfect lover instead of creating the perfect love- I think there's some truth to that.
OMgoodness... I love that Romeo! Thank you ... I think I may post that on FB.... here is something weird..... while we dated FGG hardly commented on my FB ... since last week.... he's commented or liked more of my status then the whole time we dated. Weird.... I may have to unfriend him for awhile because I really don't like how it makes me feel when he post... it makes me want to go look at his profile page.... see if there are women posting to him and wondering about that.... it's stupid really and left over baggage from EXH....
M:47 M:18 D16, S19 1st S 1/08-5/08 Reconciled/May 7, 2008 Left again Nov 9, 2009 I Filed: Nov 17, 2009 Final: April 14, 2010 EX walked away from kids too
I was driving in the car today flipping stations and Dr. Laura was on. She is annoying but also right sometimes. Anyway a woman called in listing the random little annoying things her husband did, why she wanted to divorce him. Then she paused and said, "I sound ridiculous, don't I?"
And Laura said, "Yes, you do. But I still think you should divorce him. Because he deserves better than you. You don't want a strong man even though you say you do, bc a strong man would not put up with your crap. You have a fantasy of the ideal man, so you find easygoing men to pick on and berate and try to mold them into the ideal, unrealistic man. With that mindset you will never be happy."
Oh, I know that Lotus!! I just meant that in general...there will be people out there who don't want to be with us, and it's ok. Because it isn't our problem, really, it is THEIR problem...I don't even know if it describes FFG.
It was just interesting to hear, because when someone rejects us, often it is not about us at all, even though it sure feels that way! It often has more to do with them than it does with us...
"...You don't want a strong man even though you say you do, bc a strong man would not put up with your crap. You have a fantasy of the ideal man, so you find easygoing men to pick on and berate and try to mold them into the ideal, unrealistic man. With that mindset you will never be happy."
Thanks for posting that BBJ, I needed to hear that coming from someone else.
Me: 35|WAW: 38|D: 6yo | http://tinyurl.com/2dxx7m6 Feb 2006, left, came back in two weeks Aug 2006, left again Apr 2007, filed for divorce Dec 2007, reunited Mar 2010, moved out, filed again
no, it doesn't describe FFG... I got nothing bad to say about him, nor him about me. He just feels like he should feel deeper than he does..... like by this time he should be ready to pop the question! That's what he said, so since he doens't he doesn't feel like he should continue dating me. I agree. I guess I should add that I agree with if he feels that way, that is. I don't agree that he should be popping any question.
On the other hand, he also thinks he is making a mistake... oh well, if he is and figures it out in time then so be it, if not .... it was the right decision.
Even if I don't like it today.
I'm going out with friends Friday night so that will be fun.
Last edited by sandycay; 10/07/1003:52 AM.
M:47 M:18 D16, S19 1st S 1/08-5/08 Reconciled/May 7, 2008 Left again Nov 9, 2009 I Filed: Nov 17, 2009 Final: April 14, 2010 EX walked away from kids too
Good deal...have fun Friday! I didn't think it described him, just thought it was a good thing to remember as we venture back in to the dating experience.
I totally agree with you, if he feels he should stop seeing you for whatever reasons, then no point arguing his feelings.
M:47 M:18 D16, S19 1st S 1/08-5/08 Reconciled/May 7, 2008 Left again Nov 9, 2009 I Filed: Nov 17, 2009 Final: April 14, 2010 EX walked away from kids too
Now his dad sent me a random email about a page long just catching up with me.
I guess he made it official... he changed his FB status to single. I mean I took myself of an in a relationship but then I deleted it from my wall so that big old heart isn't there.... , plus I left it blank, its like an advertisment. That made my heart hurt a little.
M:47 M:18 D16, S19 1st S 1/08-5/08 Reconciled/May 7, 2008 Left again Nov 9, 2009 I Filed: Nov 17, 2009 Final: April 14, 2010 EX walked away from kids too
Anyway a woman called in listing the random little annoying things her husband did, why she wanted to divorce him. Then she paused and said, "I sound ridiculous, don't I?"