She's in MLC, but I was weak. Now what?

[ericmsant2]

Crushed

Thanks eric,

Your welcome…BUT never thank me personally. You want to thank me…BE THE MAN that you always aspired to be… that my friend is how you can thank me and the many others on these boards.

the good thing about quitting the MC is that I don't have to watch her delusions unfold.

Right now what you are calling delusional is HER reality. Question should be….how does her reality affect YOU?

And sharing my thoughts on the R when she's not ready to make any effort to make things work, seems really unfair and unbalanced.

Did you ever think that she felt the same way? That maybe she felt not heard, misunderstood, not appreciated. You see Crushed…many come here and bit*h and moan about their spouses…some will eventually realize that we the LBS are also on our own journey. A journey that can change us in such a profound way IF…we look inside…IF we accept that the only we can CHANGE is US.

I'm tempted to get a temperature check on her just to see how long she's renewed her lease for, what she's planning because of the financial implications of it all. But, of course, there's some curiosity to be satisfied too.

What did curiosity do to the Cat?

FTR – I have a dog.

While OM is in the picture you can take the temp all ya want. She still not done cooking yet.

odd; she shares work travails, friendship issues, shopping stories and seemingly moves forward without a hitch.

You mean she wants a friend…the nerve of her! Chit I thought most R had sex as the basis of the R…not friendship.

I'm playing the part - just absent the benefits.

IF YOU FEEL that you are playing a “part” then you are. Ya know it really depends on how you look at it.

My IC thinks she's waiting for some caveman behavior to satisfy her issue with me. W called me stoic, and my IC guesses W is waiting for me to pummel OM and grab her by the hair and drag her back to the fire.

You know…I often wondered the same thing….should I have confronted OM. Here are my thoughts…

If OM has been in the picture for a long time then the confrontation may not work. It may actually bring them closer together. Also, if you confront are YOU really ready for what could happen.

This is a tough call to make. Just remember..do not ring a bell that cannot be un-rung.

Another way to look at it…is…

Have you really changed? And I am not talking about the surface crap..nah…I’m talking about real change. Do you feel happy these days?

I'm building a fire. Maybe I'll grill some steaks.

Throw a rib eye on for me….I’ll start driving now and should be there in……..10 days. LOL

MIL and FIL are coming to town tomorrow to see my son play. Feel sorry for them because I sense they are reluctantly performing their parental duty to their daughter and can't reach out to me without betraying her.

Then maybe reach out to them directly. Explain to them that you would like to maintain a R with them and that the R between you and them should not be impacted by the R between your W and you. At least you would have given them the opportunity to be a part of YOUR life. It them becomes there choice. A choice that they will make and live with.

I know they love me for being a good father to their grandkids. It's got to be tough.

This chit is tough for everyone dude…everyone.

Now…what have you learned about yourself?

Where do you feel YOU need to grow and change?

God Bless,
Eric