MLC spouse projecting their negativity onto the BS

[crushednstuck]

MR, your thought about your W being set in a particular mind-set is not necessarily discounted. She may feel it's acceptable to behave this way due to a similar experience earlier in life. My W is repeating the separation that was so apparently devastating to her as a kid. She must feel this is an acceptable way of dealing with things but doesn't make the connection and seems powerless to stop herself.

However, I've learned here that even pinpointing the MLC cause, straight out of the textbook - doesn't make resolution any quicker. Trust me, there's no "Aha! You're right" moment, even if you are. She's got to find it herself - or so I'm told.