Need advice on interacting with WAH

[AntoniaB]

I just assumed it was ok to get advice from more than one forum? Mainly because I'm dealing with a spouse who is in an affair (hence this forum) and a spouse who MIGHT be in MLC too (hence posting in that forum).

Do I have to pick one forum?

Ok everyone, here is some GOOD news. Today I went to family court to be served the divorce petition. I agreed to do this ahead of time so that I could be the one to turn over the separation agreement (original copy which I had initiated). I did so. Then I was told that I do not have to file a petition to answer. I simply had to sign a form that said I received his petition to divorce. That's it. I did not have to sign anywhere that I "agreed" to his divorce. I just had to acknowledge that I received the summons. This is HUGE for me. I was told that in order to incorporate the SA that I'd have to file the answer where I'd have to sign a paper saying I agreed that the marriage was irreconcilable, that we voluntarily separated and wanted a divorce, and that reconciliation was not probable. I found out today that I do NOT have to do anything. The way the law is written, he just petitions. If I do nothing, his petition goes through, and at 6 months of separation, he is told his petition is trial ready. He can then decide if he wants to proceed with the divorce or not. But I don't have to do anything.

The ONLY reason that I was told to file the petition to answer was if I wanted to disagree with his charges and file a countersuit, or if I wanted to make sure that it was known to the court that I, too, wanted the divorce, because that way, if he decided when it was trial-ready that he did NOT want it, I could obtain it anyway. Well I don't want it, so I'm not filing that petition.

This doesn't hurt me financially, it doesn't take away what we agreed upon for division of property, and it also preserves MY right to say that I am standing by my marriage and not throwing in the towel. It puts the divorce on HIM. Not me.

So I bought some champagne today and celebrated. Yes it was terrible to be served with divorce papers, but to know that I didn't have to put in writing that I agreed to a divorce was so important to me that I am celebrating.