A message from Michele Weiner-Davis

[antlers]

antlers,
if you (not YOU, the betrayed spouse)feel that way, there isnt much room for reconciliation dont you think?

I don't think there's a whole lotta room for reconciliation in the overwhelming majority of these cases period! It is possible, but those are rare exceptions rather than the rule. The damage that a cheating spouse does damages the chances for reconciliation about a billion times more than the exposure of their sordid affairs by a victimized spouse. People who have cheating and lying spouses have suffered tremendously because of the choices that their spouses made...they darn sure shouldn't take any additional blame if things don't work out because they chose to tell the truth. I understand that each case is individualized, and there are exceptions to every instance. These selfish and self-centered spouses who cheat and lie ARE NOT thinking about reconciliation when they are engaging in infidelity! They are damaging their marriages, their families, their children, and the person they vowed to spend their lives with! I'm all for reconciliation, when it's possible. Fact is, a large number of these cheaters have already chosen to leave their marriages, families, children, etc.. These are the people, in particular, that don't deserve to have their lewd and deceitful actions kept secret from others that the LBS has chosen to tell.