I know where you're coming from. Your point is taken. But sadly, no matter how hard they try, no matter how zealously they implement the DB principles into their lives and situation, the majority of people will not be able to save their marriages from the devestating effects of infidelity. In those cases, the victims can use DB principles to strengthen themselves, their core value, their confidence and self/esteem, etc.. Ironically, the same things one needs to do to hopefully save their marriages, are the SAME things that one needs to do to heal from a broken marriage that wasn't able to be restored. In those cases, worrying about the effects that exposure of a cheating spouses affair will have on the cheater... smacks of weakness, lack of confidence and self-esteem, lack of self-respect, and a host of other negative descriptions...NONE of which are attractive traits to anyone else. They are unhealthy, especially when someone has done such a hideous wrong to another...cheating and lying. They destroyed the marriage, the family, and all the hopes and ideals that family members had, especially the kids. Their transgression was the epitome of selfishness and self-centeredness...and they couldn't have cared less about the devestating effects it had on their supposed loved ones. THAT is the truth in these cases. And for someone who has been a victim of this awful happening, to depreciate themselves even further by worrying because they exposed this lewd truth, that's an extension of a tragedy that has already caused them unbearable pain. They shouldn't berate themselves by worrying about their actions, which honestly is simply telling the truth, when their cheating and lying spouses have done what they have!
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
