W is still sleeping in bed. Things are more relaxed in general. When she "goes off" on me or the kids, I call her on her CB. What do you know - instead of getting pissed and defensive, most of the time she immediately backs down. She doesn't really apologize but she backs off and changes her tune.
For instance: Mon morning we were getting the kids ready for school. I was doing breakfast and she was getting lunches packed. As the kids got done eating, I "schedule" them for brushing their teeth and going to the bathroom. I will tell one to use their bathroom and another to use the bath in our bedroom and the others have to wait their turn. While they are waiting, I will pick out their clothes with them and lay them out so they can get dressed when they are done.
One of the kids came up to W while she was packing lunches and said he needed more toilet paper in the bathroom. She told him to wait just a minute. I was helping on of the other kids and didn't know what was going on. He asked her again when she hadn't got it yet and she went off. "Give me a damn minute. I can't do all of this by myself. You are just going to have to wait." I heard her yell and came in to see what was wrong. S told me so I went and got him some tp and went back into the kitchen and said to W, "W, you are not doing this all by yourself. If you need help, all you have to do is ask. I was helping the other kids, not sitting around watching tv. There is no need to act like that with them." She started in about me not doing this right and taking too long for the kids brushing their teeth, etc. I said, "That's fine. You can do it alone. I didn't watch the news last night, I think I will right now." And I did.
That night, she was better and has been since. We are still far, far away from reconciling, but that's okay. I am prepared to go it alone if I must. She is going to church again with me and the kids. That's got to be a good thing. Then again, she may just be feeling guilty about what S did last week. IDK.
The more I stand up for myself, the more respect I get from her. Who knew? A lot of people did.... If the respect can move and grow towards trust and friendship, great. If not, it will still be toward a divorce. At least the respect will be there.
