Just wanted to reply as I was in a very similar situation as you. I was with my ex for nearly 10 years and he left me not long after we got married. I also went to Thailand by myself (only for a month though unfortunately! But it was an amazing experience).
I was 27 when my divorce came through and had to learn to be 'me' again. And start seeing other people which I found really difficult. I did the going out and getting drunk and using alcohol to make me feel confident. Unfortunately that also meant I met a few guys who I wouldn't necessarily give the time of day to if I was sober and had the self confidence that I should have had. (I'm not saying that the guy you've met is bad for you - only you can know that) Just that my confidence was very low and I was comparing the guys I was meeting to my ex, and of course they all paid me way more attention and were a lot nicer, but thats not saying much as my ex was pretty awful towards the end!
I met my boyfriend about 18 months ago and things are great, but I have to admit that even now I sometimes have those feelings of panic and self doubt. If he's not as chatty as normal, or seems a bit quiet, I start to panic that he's doing what my ex did, and thinking about leaving me. Even though I don't doubt that my boyfriend is totally into me, I spent so long trying to keep my marriage together and being the one in the relationship trying so hard, I still can't quite believe I'm now in an equal relationship and with someone who really wants to be with me. I'm not sure I ever will really.
I just wanted to say that I do totally understand what you're going through and I think (well I hope for my sake!) its totally normal.
If you ever want to ask anything just drop me a line.
Lea xx
Me-26 H-27 T-10 years M-20 months First bomb-Feb 07 Second bomb-March 08
