IMO, that's the trick Doodi, it's what Schnarch says: when both partners stand on their own 2 feet not needing each other for validation. It's what I have posted on my page to remind me where I should be: I need you cause I love you, I dont love you cause I need you. It's when both partners make a conscious decision they want to be in, when they know they can be apart but decide they prefer they want to be together. That cant happen until both complete that growth cycle. And that doenst mean there isnt still hard work involved.
