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Two questions:

1. Can the Network Magic/Spector Pro/Eblaster programs be potentially detected by a computer-savvy spouse. My H is very computer-savvy, and I worry he'd easily discover any of those things. Especially if I mentioned I knew something (that was done through his computer), but didn't reveal the source. I wouldn't be surprised if he hunted down how I figured it out.

2. Does anyone have any experience with those "bluetooth mobile phone spys", like e-stealth.com, or bigdadyspy.com (or any others like it)? Do they work, and anyone have experience with them being detected by a technical-minded spouse?


Me: 29
Him: 30
Married: 2 years
Together: 13 years
No kids
Bomb: 6/4/10
Started MC: 7/16/10
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Quote:
Especially if I mentioned I knew something (that was done through his computer),


Then why would you tip your hand?

"We both know you are lying" is pretty darn generic, and yes... a determined, computer savy person can detect monitoring and spy software.


M-47,W-40,No kids
D-filed 5/27/2010
Piecing - 10/21/2010
-=Soon to be banned=-
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Originally Posted By: TimeHeals
Quote:
Especially if I mentioned I knew something (that was done through his computer),


Then why would you tip your hand?

"We both know you are lying" is pretty darn generic, and yes... a determined, computer savy person can detect monitoring and spy software.


I guess what I meant by that was not that I'd tell him I learned of his actions via his computer. But that if I said I knew he had done XYZ, and that action was something that took place on the computer (e.g., I knew he was emailing or chatting with OW), that he'd know that somehow I had gotten that info from his computer (because that's where it was).

For instance, I recently learned H had been back in contact with OW. I saw the call on his work phone. However, when I confronted, I only said "I know you've been in contact with OW again". I didn't say how, or what I knew, or how I found out. But, he quickly figured out, on his own, that I looked at his work phone, without me giving any more information.

In any case, thanks for the info. I'll have to seriously consider whether it makes sense to use such tools, given the risk H could uncover them.


Me: 29
Him: 30
Married: 2 years
Together: 13 years
No kids
Bomb: 6/4/10
Started MC: 7/16/10
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 30
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Quote:

In any case, thanks for the info. I'll have to seriously consider whether it makes sense to use such tools, given the risk H could uncover them.


I'm in a similar situation where I learned something new and I'm not sure how to confront it yet without blowing the intel source; therefore, I've decided to sit on it for now and keep watching. I believe the best use of intel is not to react to each new revelation individually, rather, you use it to develop the big picture and plan an appropriate course of action. Sometimes doing nothing is the best course of action. This is even more important when using keyloggers and your trying to discern intent based on Google searches or other for lack of a better term "soft" evidence as opposed to hard evidence such as chats or emails with OMs.

In my situation, if I ultimately decide to use this piece of intel, it will likely be as a precursor to a physical separation between me and my wife.


Me-43
W-41
S-3
M- almost 7
W ONS affair - 8/9/10, confronted 8/30/10
Separation - Pending
My sitch
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