A message from Michele Weiner-Davis

[TimeHeals]

There is nothing wrong in what Michelle said. If you go back and read it she only was giving wise counsel to BE CAREFUL with things like this. She is correct. It CAN backfire.

It surely can. Especially when counter-exposure is run by the spouse having the affair.

Keeping completely silent and not trying to arrange an intervention at all can backfire too... and sometimes 2-3 years down the line after you have reconciled because... well, they got away with it once with everybody but you, didn't they? Secrets can be harmful too.

There's the rub.

Moaning all of the details to your own support network (family) is more likely to backfire and be permanent, IMO. They are more likely to work against you during attempts to reconcile.