H called and told me this morning "You deserve better than me" -and proceeded to tell me something the counselor brought up to him at his appt. on Monday - a true story about a guy with a past very similar to my H's - and as H described what the counselor told him he said that he believes the counselor was describing my H to a T - the story goes: Father abandoned the family at a young age and the man's mother wasn't around to be a mom after around age 4 or 5, because she had to work all the time to support the family. He was raised by his grandmother. All this guy wanted his whole life was to be married and be happy - he got married and as soon as the wife did something to disappoint him or did something wrong (in his eyes) he began seeking affirmation from other women outside of the marriage, it was a continous cycle of cheating, he was unable to be helped and it never stopped. (Those were my husband's words to me)
I emailed the Dr. because I wanted to try to understand what was said to my husband. And here is what he said to me: "Thanks for the email. If I recall the conversation accurately I believe my point is that we all have issues that run very deep. While we may never fully be able to sooth or eliminate the issue we can choose to handle it properly. While a man may have a chronic need to be affirmed it does not mean that he has to go about having that need met in an innapropriate way. It is a choice."
To which I completely agree.
My H texted me and said "he doesn't know what to do"... later, in response to that I just said "allow yourself to be helped. Don't give up on you." to which he replied "I'm trying but I feel like a failure at everything"
