Figured it was time to start a new thread since it's probably ok to admit to piecing now that H has moved back. The title is our first dance song from our wedding.
He moved most of his stuff this weekend. He accumulated lots of stuff in 5+ years! Taking a break right now from weeding through it and deciding what to keep and what duplicates to give away. The basement looks like it's straight out of an episode of Hoarders at the moment.
His poor cat is currently hiding inside the box springs of our (feels funny to say "our") bed. My cat, who is half the size of his, chases his cat when it gets the courage to come out and scares it back again. Hopefully the humans adjust a little easier.
Me38,H:38,S:7 Married:6/99 Bomb:7/04 Sep.:5/05 D Filed:3/08;Final 1/10 Piecing:11/09 H moved back:09/10 Current thread: http://tiny.cc/htcty
Things have been going very well since H has moved back in. I thought adjusting to another adult in the house would be a little more difficult, but it hasn't been at all. In many ways it's like he was never gone. Even his cat is walking around here like he's lived here forever.
Some highlights of the past couple of weeks: I've been having issues with BC pills and for the last year have been trying bunches of different ones trying to find one that doesn't slam me with side effects I can't live with. I told him last week that I was going off them and letting my body reset itself and then will look into something else.
He mentioned something about a friend at work having a vasectomy and I said, "well, there you go. You can do that.", thinking that with our ages and what happened before, that it is only childville for us. Instantly he said he didn't want to do that as we were only (yeah, only...) 37 and he might want to have another. For anyone who hasn't read back on my sitch, this all started almost 7 years ago when I was pregnant before. Not sure exactly what I think about this, but it really surprised me.
H has told me how happy he is to be here. His face just lit up when he said it too. It was really, really awesome to hear him say that. After being pelted with bombs for so long, it makes that all the more special to hear from him.
Some other things on the topic of being divorced--he told me he never read our divorce papers and let his lawyer make up stuff to say about me (he needed grounds in NY to divorce me so he had to file under me being cruel and inhumane).
When I told my parents he was moving back my mother was all like, "you have to have a wedding or get married again". It was weird because we lived together before being married for 5 years and no one ever pressured us to get married back then. I thought her reaction was funny and told H about it and said that I didn't see any reason we needed to be married again. He then said, "Well, I guess I won't propose to you then". He wasn't mad or upset or anything--more like ok, I don't have to worry about having to do that.
I told him that as far as I was concerned, he's still my husband. We've had a wedding and have pictures to prove it. We still have the same last name and I told him I think it technically invalidates the divorce if you're continually sleeping with each other before and after things are final.
I also told him that we've been on and off for almost 23 years now and that he's never going to get rid of me so to not even try anymore. He said that maybe it's me that can't get rid of him. haha. He then said he doesn't ever want to get rid of me again and this is exactly where he belongs and wants to be.
Me38,H:38,S:7 Married:6/99 Bomb:7/04 Sep.:5/05 D Filed:3/08;Final 1/10 Piecing:11/09 H moved back:09/10 Current thread: http://tiny.cc/htcty
Great update, thanks for sharing, I hope many others read it and get hope from it
M39 W41 Two children WAW bomb dropped 11/7/09 Piecing Aug 10 - Nov 10 No longer piecing...Nov 10 Separation Jan 11 EA ends again Feb 11 Piecing attempt #2, Mar 11
Thanks GW. Hopefully it's hope rather than a "oh, crap. You mean I'm going to have to stick it out 5 years and it's only been 3 months!" feeling. LOL
CW: Good question. That's probably in his head. He told me before he moved back in that he's missing so much with our son. For me, the idea of doing that again terrifies and excites me at the same time. Heh.
Me38,H:38,S:7 Married:6/99 Bomb:7/04 Sep.:5/05 D Filed:3/08;Final 1/10 Piecing:11/09 H moved back:09/10 Current thread: http://tiny.cc/htcty
The title is our first dance song from our wedding.
For anyone who hasn't read back on my sitch, this all started almost 7 years ago when I was pregnant before. Not sure exactly what I think about this, but it really surprised me.