My husband's emotional affair

[justpeachy]

Here I am a month and a half after my last post... and I found out Saturday morning that he had been talking to her again. I discovered that he used his work phone to call her a week before (while I was in Vegas for my best friend's bachelorette). He confessed that he called her and they played the video game they used to play together. He also confessed that he had opened a secret email account to communicate with her.

I feel like I'm right back to day zero, although perhaps worse in some ways. I don't feel like I can believe anything that comes out of his mouth anymore. He's away for training for work, today and tomorrow, and when he got to the hotel and called me, I found myself asking him all kinds of questions, and trying to make sure everything made sense, and Googling the class to be sure it was real. On the one hand it felt like an "over-reaction", but on the other hand, I know that he has obliterated all of my trust in him, and it's natural for me not to believe anything he says until he proves to me that I can trust him, by showing me proof that his words are true.

I'm trying not to read much into any of this (because I know that these things alone mean nothing)... But Saturday night he finally picked up "Not Just Friends" and started reading it. He also took the initiative to write a No Contact letter to her Monday morning, emailed it to me for review (and incorporated a couple of suggestions I made), and then BCC'd me on the email so I knew it was sent. That night, he opened the "secret" email account in front of me, and we permanently deleted it together. (Of course, I know he could easily create a new one).

I've also decided that it's time to fire our MC. She's been useless. We'll probably go for one or two more sessions. But I'm already calling around, trying to find someone else. We really need someone who is willing to confront the infidelity, instead of wanting to talk about all of the other "problems" in the marriage instead. Even my husband agrees that she is not helping at all, and he says he fully supports finding someone who will help us tackle the infidelity directly. The trick is finding somebody.