My husband is the one who admitted to his affair - I had absolutley no idea. I really had a panic attack - he called our best friends to come help me. They had no idea and they were devestated. This was on Friday July 3rd (evening). Our 2 Ds were at my brothers house spending the night. Our best friends wanted to get me away from him, so they took me to thier house. At 5am I took my keys and drove home. Thinking that I just needed to talk to my H. I found my H and the OW (with clothes on) in our spare bedroom in bed together. I started screaming and screaming - my H was frantic and was saying that it wasn't what it looked like, they didn't have sex. I fell to the floor screamming "she's in my house! She's in my house!" He was trying to tell me that her husband kicked her out and she had no where to go. I rushed out of the house with him running after me. I got in my car and saw his truck (which he totally loves) and I just started ramming it. seriously! Causing damage to both of our vehicles. I took off in my broken car and to this day, I am not exactly sure where I went. Everyone was out looking for me. Including my parents who live across the street. So exposure for me was a done deal. It was the "talk of the town".
My H moved out 2 weeks after that and has continued with his affair. He doesn't live with her. He lives with a friend. But everyone is hurt, angry and hates him. I am the only one who doesn't hate him. After time passes and your friends and family can see that you are doing okay and you are enjoying your life again, they stop hating him and their anger mostly goes away. It is when they see you hurting that they get mad!
One of the biggest things I did to detach was separate our cell phone plan. I pay the bills, so I am in charge of the Verizon website. I would go on Verizon everyday and count how many times a day he would text her. I finally realized that this only hurts me. His affair is exposed, he is "dating" her and everyone knows it - so counting his text messages proves nothing except that he still had the power to hurt me.
Don't read his emails anymore. I know the pain, I know it. The sick feeling, the shaking, the feeling like your chest is caving in. Don't do it to yourself anymore. I promise you, just a week without looking will change so much about your outlook on your life.
TAMF m:41 xh:41 T: 20 M: 15 D: 16 D: 14 Bomb dropped: 7/3/10 separated: 7/15/10 H moved in to new apt. with OW: 7/1/11 divorced: 8/26/12
